Memoirs of a Monster
by Beautifully Deranged
Summary: It was so strange how detached he felt from the events of his life and how Sakura felt the impact of his crimes so acutely. After all, Sasuke Uchiha couldn't see himself as a monster. Please R&R.


Author Notes- I hope you guys enjoy my little dip into Sakura/Sasuke. After you read I advise readers to read my author notes at the bottom since it pertains to the story and is kind of important.

Disclaimer: I do not seek to own Naruto, the gifted right of ownership has always fallen to Masashi Kishimoto.

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><p><strong>Memoirs of a Monster<strong>

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><p><em>Your oblivious eyes swallow the darkness<em>

_Only to find the nightmare you were dying to leave_

_But learn well young lad_

_Misery never sleeps._

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><p>"They're saying I'm mad."<p>

"I'm aware of that Sasuke."

Shaking his head more urgently, the ebony haired teen pressed on.

"You don't understand …when I manage to actually hear the voices and see pieces…god the images…Sakura they're horrible!"

"Sasuke those are your memories."

"No they're not," the last remaining Uchiha lashed out harshly. "I'm _nothing _like the person that's painted in my head-this must be some type of genjutsu."

But Sakura shook her head solemnly, the bright florescent lights in the hospital room showed her forlorn sympathy clearly. Sasuke noticed that the hand previously gripping his was gone and clenched no less.

"Sasuke this isn't genjutsu, there is no genjutsu. Everything that you are perceiving, all the information that's slowly entering your mind are memories. I'm sorry but everything in your head is real."

"Liar." Sasuke shouted disbelievingly. The raw emotion of denial burned his throat-made him itch to scratch reason into her.

"Sasuke you're not-"

"NO!" he roared, mattress trembling with the heavy thumps that his fists delivered to the bed. "You don't understand, Sakura that person is a monster, a monster! How could you even think that I could become one?"

"But it's true Sasuke, you were evil, you were so engrossed in revenge that anyone and everyone that stood in your way was threatened or killed."

"Only Itachi." The dark eyed boy insisted. "I only ever set out to kill him, no one else."

"That's not true." The slender kunoichi looked so defeated, so worn out. "Itachi was your only sanity Sasuke…everyone else was on your list of grievances."

"You're so annoying Sakura! Look at the facts, see the truth, all of this nonsense you're talking about isn't real."

"I wish it wasn't." The sincere façade that she sent his way wasn't lying, it lacked falsity. It made Sasuke livid. _Why is this happening?_

"Sasuke you have no idea how much I want this to all be untrue. I've spent a year trying to erase all the atrocious deeds you have done in the past from my own mind."

"What do you mean a year?"

"Sasuke…" her whispered hesitancy gave him pause. "You've been in a vegetable state for over a year after the war, unresponsive-the whole shebang. You have just clinically "woken up" and clearly you have a form of repressed memory."

"This is wrong." Sasuke bowed his head and mumbled to himself.

"Sakura there was no war, clearly Konoha found me after I killed Itachi. I'm going to say this one more time stop this-_stop it_."

"Sasuke." Her tone was so stern, so severe that he had to look up.

"All of this is true; none of this is a game."

It was like a Rasengan crashing in on him, the reality of the situation rang true, if nothing else Sakura would never lie to him and even if she tried, he would have smelled her deceit from a mile away. The voices, the hazy scenes flickering through his skull, they were his memories. A monster's memoir that Sasuke had to live with for the rest of his life. The numbness even if he tried wouldn't leave him alone. Voice raped from him he sat in silence, stunned that this was happening to him. Would he always be robbed for a chance at peace?

"I understand this is hard for you Sasuke." He could see her bowed head, eyes downcast with regret- the twisting mess of her hands showed her anxiety but it did nothing to pacify him. "However all the details of your life will be filled in for you, you will be notified of everything that has come to pass and everything you have done."

Silence seized the air at last, though the Sharingan wielder didn't care. It was no use to argue anymore-what could he say? What was there to say? The voiceless air lasted for quite a while until Sakura finally got up; she was probably fed up with it. He didn't care.

"I'm leaving Sasuke, the Hokage will be paying you a visit shortly. Tsunade-sama will be doing a thorough Q and A with you so be prepared."

Before she could leave though Sasuke piped up.

"Am I a monster Sakura?"

He saw her head turn back, a curtain of bubble gum hair slipped past her shoulder and down her back. It was funny that in that moment all he could think was that her hair grew back-it was longer.

"No Sasuke…not at this moment."

Then she left.

If her declared words were supposed to assuage his troubled mind it didn't because buried beneath the gilded message Sasuke heard what was left unsaid.

_No but you were._

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><p>TBC<p>

Author Notes- This is like a prologue for the actual story so think of it as an introduction. Based on the reviews I get I'll see if I'll continue this story but if nobody hardly comments I'll place it under complete and call it an writing exercise, basically a one-shot. So ladies and gentlemen I suggest whole heartedly that you review, the fate of this story lies in your hands.


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